My days here are numbered

While my housemates were hitting the snooze button, I had a rude awakening when the first ray of sunlight hit the windowpane this morning.

What kind of nightmare had summoned me from my deep slumber you may ask.

No, it was not a frightening nightmare. It was just a realization that today marks the beginning of our summer term or rather the final term of MY penultimate year. The thought makes me sick. Two years have fleetingly passed since I become an undergraduate student at Imperial. How time flies! I could still recall my first send-off at KLIA, my first shopping spree in Oxford Street and recently (well, it is not that recent) the juniors followed in our footsteps and embarked on their life as university students in a foreign land called the UK. And next year will be the time for me to kiss goodbye to my fabulous life here (OK, I'm exaggerating. It's not that fabulous but I love it all the same).

To be honest, I am not that keen to return there FOR GOOD (even though I always look forward to going back home during summer, but that is different). Don't get me wrong. I'm not unpatriotic and IMHO there is no place like home and I cannot compare my own country with other countries (even with Great Britain). Nevertheless, I dread every second, every minute, every day and every week that lead to the moment when I have to say the final goodbye.

Dealing with the pain of being apart from a comfortable life and close friends is one thing. But the thing that I fear the most is, will I be able to live in a new environment when I return to Malaysia and fit in with a different set of people? You see, I've been facing this situation since a long time ago. Whenever I feel happy in one place and I am able to acclimatize myself to an environment and the people, the seemingly envious Fate always asks me to leave to venture into a new zone. Normally, I'm always thrown into a place which does not appeal me at first. Just when I'm beginning to learn to accept things the way they are, I'm forced to leave again. Seriously, I'm tired of doing the same thing over and over again.

Maybe I should stop fretting about uncertain future because if I am obsessed with it, I might lose all good things that happen today. So, on a less emotional note, I have no class today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. YIPPIE!! My lectures start on Thursday but I have a dissertation which is due this Wednesday. I think I am done with my essay but I am still re-reading it to find any glaring errors and make sure that I do not commit plagiarism. God, I hate doing citation and referencing. The thing takes one quarter of my lifetime (again, exaggeration). I know there's a thing called the EndNote software which makes your life a hell lot easier but I seriously have no idea why I couldn't run the bloody thing on my laptop. So, yes, I had to type the whole details of each scientific journal that I'd cited in my essay (mind you I have about 30 articles in total and a few of them are written by more than 10 authors!!). But now I'm quite relieved. Hopefully I don't have to do any major or even minor amendments to my essay. Btw, my tutor had asked me to sent the final draft so that he could give a brief comment on my work but until now his reply is nowhere to be seen in my inbox.

I'd like to share with you what I've found from my research for the dissertation but don't worry I won't bore you with some dry scientific facts. At least not for now. I need to revise for Immunology. Man, I'm so guilt-ridden. I didn't study or revise at all during the break. OK, if you count watching animations from Janeway's Immunology CD-ROM is a revision, then I would say, I did VERY LITTLE revision. But still, that doesn't make me feel any better.

OK, I think I've written (or is the correct word here 'typed'?) a bit too much. Before signing off, I would like to wish those who are sitting for their exams the very best of luck with your papers. Soldier on and at the same time pray that Allah guides you.